BedtimeE

Man I am pissed. Not quite as drunk as my top drunk moments which ar as follows

1. Feb 1998, Kass Ward's birthday, where after fumbling some boys and seeing Richard Eden pull a sink off the wall of the mens loos in Bishops Stortford rugby club, I get so drunk I fall down an icey embankment, and after hitting my lower spine, slide under a cab coming to a halt to pick me. 6 months later I am having a microdiscectomy.

2. Christmas 2004. After drinking bottle of Ammeretto I felate Joshua whilst Anthony, our christmas guest, walks in on us. I then wake up, the day after with a huge cut across my arse, bleeding, about 30 cm long. HUGE scar. No memory.

3. The night i proposed to Josh. Trying to recreate Boxing Day... instead whilst watching My First Sex teacher, I puked all over Josh and then asked him to marry me, which I was going ot anyways, but ruined slightly. He said yes, so well, um, yeah it was all deliberate.

4. The day I broke my foot in Spain, 1997? I fell down a curb in a bar. I was pretty hefty so did a lot of damage, Spanish ambulances aren' fun. Nor are hospitals in Spain. Especially if you are drunk and don't speak Spanish.

5. Some night in Jersey when I was 21. I fucked an 18 year old (whos now in some mediocre local band) in my aunties spare room and got my handbag nicked in the Splash.

***Disclaimer. I have had many MANY drunk nights. And days. Infact, so many, which is why I am only listing top 5 so people don't think I am a slag.

This is another GREAT reason as to why I don't drink so often. It's okay now I am nearly married. Drunk wifes are great fun.***