Mild panic on

I'm starting to think again, even though I talked myself out of it before, of moving to a smaller flat. I talked myself out of it before it was far too much hassle. I do not want to be moving once, then again later on in the year. But I seriously tried to put it all into perspective in my budget. Considering I have to have enough money to live pay bills/rent, save something for the move/my savings and somehow go to NY at the end of this month. Oh and give Joshua his half of the deposit.

Okay so here goes.

FOR MOVING:
* Cheaper smaller place, less of an expense. Thus saving money for stuff.
* New start, ie will not wallow round flat seeing memories of Joshua and pining like French lieutenant's Women, until I see him next.
* Already got phone and broadband ready. Mod cons, good neighbours, no perverts.
* Close to town and shops
* Only play for electricity and rent. Everything else is included
* One parking space, although don't have car, is handy.
* Less stress to add to the already slightly mounting pile.
* Room for guests and plenty of storage in loft for stuff we already have

AGAINST MOVING:
* MAJOR HASSLE.
* Short term expense which might not even be possible unless helped out by ie Simon. (Deposit on new place/paying for this one overlap until get deposit back)
* Just how exactly will move stuff to new place?
* Will still be paying off the phone and broadband here and might not even have access to a phone at new place, let alone wireless to steal if needed
* Will new place be big enough for stuff
Possibility of not having everything to hand such as own washing machine or being able to walk round in pants without someone odd seeing me.
* Everywhere I have looked at so far is generally a depressing converted hotel, still kitted out like a hotel, like this and will be full of random Portugese people and babies and smell like damp halls of residence. I know this because I have seen some.


I think to not cause me to have a stomach ulcer, I am going to try and hang on here, unless I get some help from from cousin, or know someone personall who has a room going, that I can go and see and look at and know that will be able to take all our stuff.

There. That is my rant over. It's not even a rant, but in my head I am flailing my arms about my head in a desperate effort to not end up trapped and stuck here, in an ironic "how I was in London way."

Also I am supposedly getting a bonus of atleast 250 from work and my wages are supposed to be reviewed in April. I wonder if I get my probation passed they might up my salary. I fucking hope so.

Oh fuck it, I may as well stay here. Atleast you'll all know where I am and I'm not going to spend that much on grub/drink once Joshua has gone I guess. Realistically I shouldn't go to NY, but ah I dunno. I guess the bulk of it has already been paid for.
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