Bummer day today

Today is a bummer day today, for many reasons:

1. I had the opportunity to see Reverend Horton Heat tonight but had no one to go with. Now, before you say "you should have gone on your own Alex" I shall say that, no I did not want to. Firstly, I don't know Boston at all well and it is something I would not want to do on my own, go to a show for something like RHH.

The thing is, I have known about this show since maybe FEBRUARY. February! We (Patrick and I) talked about going for my birthday or just out together doing something, or for Mother's Day or just something. I even talked about it with people from work, them coming with us. But what happened? Seriously, I don't know. We couldn't get a baby sitter mostly and none of my friends from NH could go, so helpfully telling me that I should go because "the Rev puts on a great show!" Thanks! How helpful, because if you hadn't noticed my decision was faltering and I didn't know if I wanted to go or not. Of course I want to go, that is why I am asking you. Patrick even offered to buy their ticket. Really I should have just been more organised. This is totally my own fault and I acknowledge this!

I could be there right now, having fun and feeling old and probably saying that is was fun but I don't think I'll go to another show again, because it is too loud and there are people touching me and they smell and the drinks are too expensive and yadda yadda yadda. But I am not! I am sat at home eating biscuits listening to the stupid TV. No wonder I don't listen to anything other than Abba and Fleetwood Mac at home (which I love)... whenever I try and do something fun it fails. This happened with the last Harry Potter movie! wanted to go see it, talked about it for ages, and nothing! It came and went and forever reason we couldn't get a sitter or there was no time or something came up because life is like that really (I've watched it now at home on the old DVD, which was cool but those months in between were torturous!) I am bummed. When does the Rev come to the UK? Hardly ever that is when. And here he is, right on my doorstep. LAME. WE HAD ALL THIS TIME TO PLAN. I REALLY WANTED TO GO TO THIS AND I AM TAKING IT FAR TOO PERSONALLY THAT I CANNOT GO. Patrick says we have to find a show that I really want to go, and we are going to plan ahead and DO IT. So I started looking. Unfortunately the only other musical act I would want to see is Brian Setzer and his magnificent Orchestra but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BRIAN AND HIS FUCKING GUITAR SLINGING POSSE ARE SPENDING THE NEXT FUCKING HOWEVER MANY MONTHS IN EUROPE, INCLUDING LONDON!

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

Amazing shit luck or what. Fuck you Brian and fuck you everyone else right now, I am officially SULKING. SULK. Although my research tells me that he has not swung through these parts since 1998, so maybe we'll get visit. Knowing my fucking luck we'll either have moved or I'll be mega pregnant and unable to go anywhere without pissing my pants or something, you get me?

2. In other news at least 4 people I know are going through relationship transitions and this is causing them some woes. Some of which I am counselling and assisting with. All at different stages but some of them where I have been. It is horrible to see your friends go through some dark low times and be so far away and not be able to give them a big hug. Virtual hugs are okay, but not the same. All I can do is listen and offer my ear to listen and some friendly words of advice and some realism.

3. I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS IN BOSTON. I NEED SOME FRIENDS IN BOSTON. How the fuck are you supposed to make friends with people in a new town or city OR COUNTRY when you are 30? I went to get glasses and the manager of the shop seemed really awesome. We seemed to hit if off and had a good laugh. To be honest, they are all really awesome in that shop. I got a bit carried away and bought a pair of prescription sunglasses too (now the sun needs to come out) but we were chatting and the whole time I was thinking "she could be my friend, she seems really cool" she had tattoos and was a bit zany like me. I hope it wasn't just a sales ploy. Maybe it was and now I look super stupid. I expect she has a lot of friends already cos she is local and seemed the kinda person that has a lot going on socially. I feel like the the Paul Rudd character in "I Love You, Man". HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS AT 30 AND NOT LOOK ODD. I found a potential friend but am unsure as to how I am supposed take it to the next level? Honestly, thinking about it, whichever way I am to go about initiating a conversation and hanging out or something like that, it all just makes me sound like a creepy looser and right now is making me feel a bit anxious and pathetic. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, it is just that they are MILES AWAY in the UK, or they are originally Patrick's friends and live in NH. It makes me quite miserable. No wonder I like being all up in other peoples' lives and personal dramas and woes. I have a big social hole that needs to be filled.

I am going to go now and watch Aliens. I feel like I have been fighting a bad mood since 3pm and even though my husband and work pals have been ace, I have let it get the better of me so need to focus on not being a cow for a bit or if anyone talks me to.

Hrumph.

Think happy thoughts Alex. You have biscuits to eat and Silika your friend from AUSTRALIA(!) is in town Friday night thru Sunday on a whistlestop tour of the US. Can't wait. I'm going to get so drunk I am going to be puking all morning on Sunday, American Mothers' Day.