Ya! How to be Jersey: A Step by Step Guide

1. Say Ya! A lot. Note: not like a yuppie's 'Yearh'; more of a short 'Ya' with a slight accent. Half farmworker, half posh git. At the end of most sentances, with a raise, like Chandler in Friends does.
2. Be totally self obsessed. Never ask about anyone elses feelings or what they have been doing. If you do...
3. When being talked to about someone elses stuff (see above) feign interest badly. Look at your watch, switch off.
4. The more money you have, share less of it. Unless its to show off. Perhaps buy a car that is wasted on a small island. Offer to buy some of the land thats been reclaimed on the sea front 'because you can'.
5. Be totally complacent in your job. Yes you've got your qualys and five year residency! You can slack off all you like, unlike those filthy foreigners.
FOR THE WOMEN:
6. If you're a women, be man obsessed! Dress to impress! Tan, hair, always be well groomed and shop in Mango or Kookai.
7. Talk utter crap instead of doing your work. Have the same dull conversations all day about biscuits and how you're getting fat, despite 14 sessions at the gym in Les Ormes.
FOR THE MEN:
6. Walk about town in a suit at lunch time.