Got a job yet?

Any work lined up yet?
Anything for next week?
Anyone got back to you yet?
Got any work yet?


If I have to answer this question anymore times today, tomorrow, from friends, family, in person, on the phone or over email I am going to scream and punch someone very very hard. Not since anyone else asked. But thats because I have been sitting on my bum waiting for these things to come to me. No really. Yeah I don't think I'll bother chasing anyone and just hope for the best. I really do not mean to sound rude, it is just so soul destroying having people ask me these things when I have nothing whatosoever to tell them. It makes me feel rubbish. Plus it is not like I am not trying and it is a bit hard to explain how things work here.

My aunty drives me bonkers with wanting to know the details of every insignificant phone call I have with someone from an agency and this also gets on my nerves. I know she means well but I can't help but get irritated by her as she comes over really nosey (which she is.) She asked me about something today, which I didn't actually tell her... I think she overheard me talking about it. She said, in short, that I should just call this company directly and ask them outright. I know some people do not see a problem with that, but I do. "Hello, you haven't heard from me in 3 years, but can I have a job?" I used to work there, and since doing so loads of things have happened. I don't even think it would be a fun place to work anymore so I would rather let the agency DO THEIR JOB and see if I even eligible for the position they have available. (A graduate position or something... not at all a basica admin role I was doing years ago.) Seriously that women has no manners. Yeah maybe you don't get if you don't ask, I am just not happy about the way she does things. She comes across as rude and pushy. And I want to get a job my own way. I want to get a job I know I will like and be able to stick at. I do not need her help. I am embaressed to say I am even related to that women sometimes.

I should call my Dad tonight but I never feel like I can speak frankly to him with her about incase she is listening. Also the first thing he would ask me about would be if I had a fucking job yet.

I wasn't stressed before but now I am. I'm petrified I'm going to turn into my anoying witchity old aunt if I stay at home any longer haha. It doesn't seem fair that I am looking for work, whilst Joshua is so busy he works during the day, then into the night. Where is the balance there?

I was having such a nice day too. Mioiki took me to town and I bought a little pumpkin and helped her chose clothes for Ekika's winter season (hahah) and buy a present for party she is going to on Saturday. Mioiki took me to lunch at DeGruchy's and we talked about when me and Joshua have a flat of our own and that we can't leave Jersey for a while as she and Simon and Ekika love having us here. Well I can't leave till I can afford a flight off hahaha. Not that I want to leave, I'm really happy to be here and not in London. I knew things wouldn't be easier. Jesus I am soooo glad I left as everyone in my department got sacked so I would have been in the same sitaution there only then if we had stayed Joshua wouldn't have had a job either and we've have our horrid horrid landlord breathing down our necks.