Weekend ahoy!

Its Friday! I finished at Deutsche Bank today. Wooop. PAY DAY! My ebay purse arrived, it is awesome. I paid for my much needed new cardigan as well. Wooop!

I took Joshua to Pizza Express for dinner as well. It was awesome. And really cheap. Thank god. I'm fed up of not being able to do anything nice with him. And what better than a little morale booster for us both. We then walked home through the tunnel and round the coast. It's really mild and warm outside, but really misty. What a nice night. Now we are watching Corrie.

I am happy for now not being on SG. I think last night I was super tired. Me and Joshua had words about marriage and stuff. We do both wanna get married. It seems strange in todays world. What does it actually mean now. I mean, as Joshua said, we live together already and we sleep together already and back in the day people didn't. And I'm not religious. I felt dead stupid telling him that I wanted to marry him, just because I loved him. Nothing else. I wanted to marry him because I loved him sooo much. No ulterior motive other than yeah I wanted to spend my life with him and that was that. And I was excited about it so there. Hahah. Last night I was really worried about my stupid girly emo brain. Like considering if I hadn't asked him, if he would ever have asked me. I decided that the answer would have been either a 'it doesn't matter, because you asked me and I said yes' or 'yeah but not for a while yet' and although they aren't bad answers, they were not really I fancied hearing at my emo tired state. Also if I had lingered on it, I would have totally resided myself into the fact that he is only saying yes and going along with it and blah blah blah. Joshua is excited, but yeah like he said, theres no point being excited because right now we have a million things to pay for first. Yeah we can't really afford to get married properly, and we wouldn't have a big do anyways either ways, but yeah, it is the least of our problems and I guess it is an extravagance that we don't 'need'. And it doesn't change anything so to speak... although I am excited by the gayness little things! I get a new name!! I'll be a WIFE!! Of course it changes things! I'm a girl! It might not mean a lot to Joshua but it means a lot to me! A piece of paper! It's like a declaration to everyone of how much he means to me and our intentions to stay together foreveeeeeeeeeeeeeer (in a nonstalker way) and make a proper life together. He'll be my actual HUSBAND. I'll be a WIFE. I'll be Alexandra Marshall. MRS.

So basically, um, I've gone full circle. I'm still getting married, but I had a little rant and a spazz along the way.