Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

It was so nice for like a day and now the rain has come back. Bloody weather. Also we have run out of electricity and the guy wasn't in when I popped up last night. Then we, um went to bed and forgot. So at half nine the thing ran out and now poor old Joshua has to work around doing anything that requires light, electricity or heat. No tea. Blimey. I couldn't cope. I did have some money put aside for this so soon as someone comes in we can top up the meter. I've never lived somewhere with a meter before. Never again. Although I thought the whoel pay as you go thing is worth it, when you DON'T have gas, and everything requires electricity, it gets well annoying and is actually more expensive than you might first realise.

I'm so hungry. For a silly reason, I wasn't hungry last night and couldn't eat my dinner. I wish I had of now, I am starving, but we are going for pizza later so thats something to look forward to. I'm also going to go get a baguette at lunch as well haha. Pig out.

I've got some exciting times to look forward to of late, although I am bit frightened, its not like scary scary frightened, its exciting/nerves more than anything. It's like a little adventure in my own head/flat. And I am pleased that Joshua will be getting settled in London while I take sometime to get myself sorted here. I couldn't have managed it financially in London if I didn't have the emotional support that I needed and I wouldn't of had that, so I am glad I am holding back and sorting out my shit here. I mean, if you have a kid who can't swim, (if you're not a complete cunt) you DON'T throw them in the deep end and do the thumbs up motion and walk off to let them work it out for themselves. Shallow end and all that.

Incidently, I finally realised whats up with the pool I use. I thought I was going fucking doolally, because one week I could touch the bottom of the pool, and then ever since then I couldn't. WELL. Yesterday lunch I went and it was shallow again. Turns out its got a movable bottom. Yes I know thats nothing major, but Sara kept winding me up about it thinking I was a bloody looney. But it goes from 2 metres then is normally at 3.8 metres for presumably diving. They have aquarobics at the pool too, I might check it out. I need to find some things to occupy my evenings and to fill up my calender so I do actually keep busy, which'll help me get my independance back.

Lisa said she is going to come and see me in April, to make sure I am okay. We are going all out Goonies if she does. I totally forgot she's booked to come mid May as well, which is cool because I wasn't planning on leaving until end of May roughly anyways. In an ideal world I'd like everything to be sorted by then and hopefully I can head back to London permenantly and me and Joshua can move back in together. That will easily give me enough time to sort out money saved and to get our stuff moved over, rather than Joshua throwing it all out.

Ria also said that provided her course/training hasn't started by then she is going to come to NY with me. I'm a bit sad that I'm not going with Joshua, but if I can still go I shouldn't grumble. And he can use the flight himself to get to the UK, just not the America bit I suppose. I might want to check that though incase that they don't automatically take his baggage and put it in on the plane to NY! But the way I went on and on about it, because I was excited, and I didn't want to talk about what was really up, I think I killed it anyways. Plus he has been a million times before and now if we go again together, I would have been and I can't imagine I'll be all 'OOOH! WHAT SHALL WE DOO!' 'WHERE SHALL WE GO!?' Well knowing me, I might do that to a certain extent, but it'll be more, oh well I had fun here.... wanna do that again. Also, it'll be great for me and Ria. We can go to drag shows together again hahah. it'll be good for me to still go, because I was looking forward to that, and if I still can, I won't be all, oh Joshua is going in __ days... instead I will be all WOOOOO! Adventure! oh yeah... I'll speak to you when I get back. So instantly I won't be hounding him for the first few days going "urrrrh I meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees you!!" etc. Also when he has gone, I can play recorder again and not get laughed out because of the funny faces I pull.

Unless anyone else wants to come? Haha.

Also, it means I am here for Liberation Day and some crazy ass Fifties dressing up at work. I can't wait. Maybe I might actually have some hair by then eh?

Don't really know what else to say. Its a bit of a ghost town round this 'ere blog now isn't it.

Urgh. Rain. Wish I hadn't of bloody thrown out my hoodie. bah. Should have kept the hood I guess.