Thing about being a single parent is...

... that you don't realise just how lonely it is. I say single parent, because essentially I am. Patrick is miles and miles away at the moment. I look after Adelaide 10000% on my own. It is hard work, but its not impossible. The things that were difficult get easier only to replaced with new challenges and no day is ever the same. I would prefer to say that being a single parent is inconvenient, but that makes me sound like the kind of women that didn't want to be a parent. Not so. I just mean it in the sense that everything takes a little longer to do or to plan or cost. Nothing is really ever straight forward once you have a child. Not for the first few times you do it anyway! (The things, not the first few children).

The thing that gets to me is the time you spend on your own. Maternity leave was a little depressing because all of my close friends were miles away, and those that were close didn't have children. And the rest of them were at work. And of a weekend, those that were working would be with their families, so I spent a lot of my time on my own. Where I live now I can't actually have a babysitter in here, and me go out, so I haven't had a night out HERE in Jersey since she was born. Luckily I built up a good collection of movies for this purpose, but I miss going to the cinema. I used to go atleast 4 times a week because I had an unlimited card. Of a weekend I get up early with Adelaide and there is no one to talk too physically or virtually. And of a night time when she is in bed, I am running the household chores or listening out for her to wake up. If it wasn't for my lap top, which is my lifeline to the world I don't think I would have retained the sanity I do have left now that is for sure.

I'm trying to whittle some of my posessions down into a smaller volume so have promptly Ebaying stuff and logging off again before I get sucked into buying more crap.

Adelaide and I are aiming to hit the States in June for a few weeks which should be good. I wish it was easier to get to Heathrow, the have stopped the BMI route to/from Jersey which is annoying. Because now I have to get a coach from Stansted or Gatwick because ALL of the flights I'd catch (direct to Boston) are from there. Things are expensive enough and fiddly with a baby and stroller and your own luggage when travelling solo that throwing into the equasion a coach and possible tight layover really isn't what you'd want to be doing.

Adelaide had a birthday party yesterday, Shivani also goes to Jeanette the childminder. She had a great time but I got very sick towards the end and was up ppuking and being all bloated and swollen until 3.30am. Once I was finally sick (in the end I had to intervene) I felt a lot better. Processed food I am blaming. I did eat a few of the chicken nuggets they had laid on for the adults at the do. I will not be doing that again (processed food) if I can help it. Patrick and I have such sensitive stomachs nowadays I really hope Adelaide doesn't suffer for it when she is older.

Must go now, the kettle has boiled and I also need to see if the washing machine has finished. It had bloody better because I have nothing to wear to work tomorrow!!