Saturday night

So this was going to be a blog about the wedding we went to and seeing our friends, which were both awesome. However my memories of this weekend are currently a bit tarnished by the events that followed.

We left the venue and started our drive home. I a bit drunk, but still with it. The others took Jon and Danielle's car and I went with Patrick. As we we started the drink he said how nice it was to see me cut back and relax and have fun, which I did. He said the roads were very slick because there was some moisture about that had frozen and we all know how bad black ice can be. We got out onto 128 and we hadn't been on there long when a car FLEW past us. I mean literally flew. He wasn't swerving as such but he was drifting back and forth a bit, but FLYING. Easily going over 100mph. Patrick and I thought 110 minimum. We were going 67 and it didn't take long for the guy to disappear from our sight down the highway. There weren't that many cars on the road. Patrick told me to call Danielle and warn the others that there was a nutter heading their way. We presumed they were ahead of us because they left sooner. My phone says I first called her at 00.01am on Sunday morning.

I hung up the phone and it must have been straight after that we either went round a slight bend or over a crest of a hill but the same car appeared right in front of us, in the right hand lane, upside down and steaming/smoking, smashed to fuck and facing towards the other side of the traffic. It came out of nowhere. Patrick swerved to avoid it and I am so grateful that my husband knows how to drive and handle himself in a crisis. We slammed on the brakes but spun out and ended up in the middle of the highway facing the wrong direction of traffic rammed into a snow bank. I dread to think what would have happened if the snow bank was not there.

Patrick jumped out of the car and ran up to the car ( it took us a good 100 or so feet to stop) and I called 911 and told them where we were on 128, almost at junction 22 and that there had been a crash and then I had to repeat it all to the State Troopers. The cars behind us had seen us spin out and this helped them to slow down and not plough into the wreck. Other people stopped but it took them a while to get out the car. It was 7degrees F/-13degrees C last night and I forgot to put my coat on and once I was out of our car they wouldn't let us back into ours, because of where it was (other cars coming the other way rubber necking could run the risk of crashing and in turn putting our car in danger) so I was fucking freezing. Someone else said they had called 911 too.

After a few minutes no one could find a body. There was no one in the car. I called Danielle and said that although I didn't know where they were, we were near junction 22 and had stopped because we just narrowly missed an accident and apparently very calmly told them to be careful and to watch out if they are in fact behind us. Turns out, they were because their sat nav told them to get off 128 and then get back on it again. I turned to a lady who had also stopped and said "maybe they were thrown from the car?"

After I hung up, we kept looking. There were computer games all around the car, rucksacks scattered and shoes and a baseball cap. They were starting to get a layer of frost on them. Then someone shouted that there was someone a little further up the road, so we all moved up the road. I didn't get too close. I think at this point all the sirens arrived. I called Danielle back and as I was telling her that they found someone she just went "I know, we're here. I can see him just lying on the snow bank". Danielle took my instructions and they must have come up to the junction/accident site shortly after we did... and they slowed down and pulled off just as the girl that found the body started waving to us, so they went past them. Danielle told me that she say him and went "thats the body there, thats the body there" just as we all got there.

He looked so twisted up, face down in the snow bank. Danielle said his shirt was all lifted up. I remember seeing this body awkwardly laying in the snow bank and it being lit up by headlights and flashing lights and seeing the amount of heat pouring off, it looked like smoke. It was so cold, I expect we were all putting out a lot of heat. I was wearing a cotton dress (thank god I put on my snow boots before I left the venue) and a cardigan and I was freezing. It might have have been the heat from the blood, or maybe he was burnt, I don't know, it was like when you exhale on a cold day, but thicker, like when you see stock footage of water being poured onto hot stones in a sauna. I'll never forget it. Seeing the outline of this 18 year old's body and honestly wondering if his trousers had been torn because I could have sworn it looked like I could see his buttocks, and then giving myself a "wtf are you on about" moment.

The rest is a bit of a blur. I remember seeing the paramedics trying to resuscitate him and then we had to talk to the State Troopers. I kept telling Patrick that the engine was still running and my door was open. I remember the ambulance leaving and there not being an sirens on. I remember telling the Troopers that there were a couple of bags and were they sure there was just one person. Apparently they use special heat camera things to pick up and thermal imaging type stuff. They didn't find anyone else. I asked if they thought he would be okay, but at the time the Trooper said it was unlikely. I alte found out they declared him dead at the scene.

We had to get winched out of the snow by a toe truck, because we were about a foot deep in snow. And we had to pay $75 for the privilege. I mean I am glad to be alive but even so, what the fuck. We had snow wedged into the wheels and rims so the car juddered all the way home because it was off balance. Just before we left (and got our IDs back and paid for the tow truck) the Trooper told me he had seen people walk away from accidents like this, if they were wearing their seat belt. I don't know about you, but in England this is drummed into us. I find it mad to think about people younger than me NOT doing that. I mean, its ridiculous to not wear your seat belt. Ridiculous. AND the weird thing, some guy said to Patrick, how was the wedding? Turned out that the videographer was also just behind us and ended up filing the crash scene. So weird.

My husband was so amazing. He handled the whole thing amazingly. He took total control of the situation and was very helpful to the police. I am so proud to call him my husband. When he slammed on the breaks he said something like "Oh Shit!" as we saw the car, and then when we started to spin around he said "hold on!" which I was already doing as I am a bit of a nervous passenger so pre-empt these kind of situations pretty well. But I was never nervous or scared, because I knew I was in good hands and totally trusted my husband.

By the time we got back to the house it was about half one/two ish. Everyone was a bit quiet understandably.

I keep thinking if he would have lived if we had found him sooner, or if he died whilst we were all there. I've never seen someone die, or be in close proximity whilst someone was dying. It just makes me feel weird to think about it.

I was checking the news religiously all day, and couldn't find much. But I found 2 articles and the kids name, which led me to find his facebook page, which isn't private. The worst thing is, earlier in the day the kid had posted on his facebook (at 4.30pm) that he was going out drinking and then to pick up some friends. Some of his friends called him out on drink driving but his reply was "I drove on my birthday aftr 5 vicodin 6 30 miligram aderal time release 2 sour diesel blunts and MADD wine and I still drove MADD good lol". What a fucking idiot kid. I mean, I feel bad for him, no one deserves to die like that, but damn. It was horrible to see. Now all of his friends are commenting on that post, it is just so weird. I should stop looking but I can't. I feel almost angry. Like fine, if you want to fuck about and kill yourself, albeit accidently, through your own stupidity, do so, but you could have killed US. You ruined a great evening and day today with our friends, put us out of pocket $75 and not to mention gave me nightmares. I don't want to ever see anything like that again. I feel like they put me into a situation I didn't want to be in and I hate it. Everyone there had to go through that, saw that, not to mention all your friends and family who are probably devastated. I feel sick but I can't stop thinking about it.

I can't get that image out of my head of his body just lying there in the snow, steaming. It was horrible.

I'll do a wedding post this week, just not right now.